Next.........

The other blood work came back positive for Celiac Disease. My doctor says that if it truly is positive, it will be a major lifestyle change. So he wants me to have a small intestine biopsy to verify the diagnosis.

WHAT?

I'm Italian. I eat bread.

If this is true, I will be eating blueberries the rest of my life. Larry and I went out for some MAJOR DELICIOUS Mexican food tonight, just in case I can never eat it again as long as I live. Or pasta. Or pizza. Or Italian bread. You might as well just lock me up.

Sorry cow. Go away.

SO.






After 50 years, I finally have an answer to my spastic unmentionables.






I'm LACTOSE INTOLERANT.


Such a deal.

After all these years, my whole life actually, somebody decided to test me for it. And the blood test came back with this lovely diagnosis. I knew it because of what happened AFTER the blood test!!

See, you go in fasting for 12 hours and get your blood drawn. Then you get to drink this glass of milk flavored with some orange stuff. It tasted pretty good. Then you wait 15 minutes and get your blood drawn again. Then you wait 30 minutes and get your blood drawn AGAIN. That's three so far. Then you wait another 30 minutes and get your blood drawn AGAIN. THENNNNNNN, you wait 45 minutes and get your blood drawn AGAIN. That is 5, count 'em 5 blood draws in 2 hours.

After the two hours I got to leave. I couldn't get home fast enough, if you get the idea. The next several hours were VERRRRY interesting.

It's kind of funny because even as a kid, I didn't like milk and gave my parents a hard time about drinking it. I was never crazy about ice cream. I do not like yogurt, yuk. Never liked mozzarella on pizza. So the signs were there but I never considered lactose intolerance.

There is hidden lactose in so many foods, (and medicine too.) I need to become a detective and read all labels carefully.

I am so excited about feeling good!! Hooray for no pain. When you've had major gut pain frequently for almost your whole life, it's a lovely prospect.

Goodbye cow.